


If You're Lost...

by canadiankazz



Category: Vampire: The Masquerade, Vampire: The Masquerade - L.A. By Night (Web Series)
Genre: Blood Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Vampires, and remember people that consent is sexy!, and they are going to be okay or mark my words... we're going to have a problem, they need to talk and fix things damn it!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 12:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20008369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canadiankazz/pseuds/canadiankazz
Summary: Eva set down the blood on a chair and sat near, but not directly next to Jasper on the bed. “We… need to talk.”She could see Jasper’s jaw clench. She had never known anyone to react well to the sentence ‘we need to talk.’“Yeah,” he growled.(Set after Season 3, Episode 9.)





	If You're Lost...

**Author's Note:**

> So... we all had a lot of emotions at the end of this season. There were some big bombshells dropped and a lot of intense moments. I wrote this to help get some feelings out and to generally make myself feel better about things. It's a quick and sad little fic. 
> 
> Also, I've had 'Time After Time' stuck in my head, so... here we go.
> 
> Thank you, Vamily. Enjoy.

It was a few hours until dawn. Eva was back at the Maharahni with the others. She had fed and healed her bullet wounds. Victor and Nelli had also fed, though Eva could feel a tension between them. Nelli was not happy, and no amount of spin in Victor’s words was going to change that tonight.

_They’ll be alright. They have history. They are family._

_But what about the rest?_

Kyoko… _oh God, she had nearly died because I asked her to come along tonight…_ was still resting in another room. Tomorrow night, they were going to wake her up. She was going to be alright too. Hester would look after her.

_We are going to get very good at waking our friends up from Torpor if this keeps up._

_They could have turned her into ashes. Strauss could have boiled her blood. She’ll be okay, she’ll be okay, she’ll be okay..._

Jasper was sitting off by himself in the room with the little narrow bed he and Eva had rested in the day previously. She was glad that Nelli and Victor seemed to accept that she wanted to be with him, and weren’t giving them a hard time about it.

_Bigger things to worry about than our love lives…_

_Was it stupid to choose him? A foolish girl with a crush?_

_Tall, dark and…_

_Well?_

_But… but I still..._

Eva collected some more blood bags and went into the little room with Jasper. She closed the door behind her. He looked up out of his sulk at her.

“You, um… you look better,” he commented.

“Thank you. I’ve healed and fed,” she acknowledged. Eva set down the blood on a chair and sat near, but not directly next to Jasper on the bed. “We… need to talk.”

She could see Jasper’s jaw clench. She had never known anyone to react well to the sentence ‘we need to talk.’ 

“Yeah,” he growled.

“I’m… sorry about the mirror.”

Jasper's nails scraped against the sheets on the bed as he balled his hands into fists. “I didn’t even trap them down there. They got out right away.”

“I know.”

“I wish I knew how.”

“Strauss… has many abilities that I… I don’t think anyone except for him knows everything he can do.”

“Bastard,” Jasper grumbled.

Eva looked down at her hands, wringing them in her lap. “Jasper, I…” she hesitated. There was too much, too much going on in her head. The narcotics she had consumed in the blood she drank to relax were starting to wear off. They had fuzzed her mind, allowed her to not fall into a crying heap at seeing Strauss.

_No, no not again… not again… please… I can’t… I’m sorry…_

She wanted to cry. She wanted to collapse. She couldn't. She had to be strong. Jasper and the others needed her.

_Jasper…_

_Embracing others to keep in cages and feed from…_

_Bad people, yes, but…_

_But…_

He was watching her with grave apprehension. He was prepared, she knew, for her to shun him and oh, part of her wanted _very badly_ to shun him. What he had done, what he was doing, was monstrous.

_To bad people. Rapists and murders. Feeding bad people to bad people. A vigilante in a black hood with a knife…_

_But it didn’t have to be that way. His soul would be so tarnished..._

_No wonder he hates himself, if all he eats is hateful people created in his own image of self-loathing, like a never-ending wheel of shame…_

_But it doesn’t have to be like this!_

“Jasper,” Eva began again, “I want to… keep seeing you. You are still… very important to me… despite everything you’ve told me. But… I’m not happy with… your feeding habits.”

His lip curled in a small snarl. He looked down, ashamed, loathsome.

“So…” Eva continued, blinking hard against her blood tears. She reached out a hand to him, and saw she was trembling. “If we survive this… you and I… we have to find another way.” She nodded to the bags she had brought in with her. “I can… I can drink bagged blood, and I feed consensually. I want to… provide for _you_ consensually too. Have you ever had… a consensual feeding? Someone willing to be bitten?”

He shook his head, still not able to meet her gaze. “No,” he said, his voice rough with hunger and pain.

“It’s better. I… It’s better, trust me.”

“Never been given the chance.”

Eva didn’t think that was true, but she didn’t want to argue the point. There had been too much arguing, too much fighting this week. She couldn't handle the stress of it any more.

“You have the chance now,” Eva told him. “Let’s… take advantage of the fact that… you won’t be bonded to me. You’ll have your free will. Jasper, please, I…” Eva’s voice cracked. She turned away and put a hand to her mouth.

_He’s so hungry. If I cry and he smells it, he might…_

She forced herself to take a breath and calm down. “You need to feed tonight, one way or another. If you wake up tomorrow hungry, you’ll probably kill us all.”

He couldn't deny it. His Beast wanted to do terrible, violent things. It had been so badly tempted lately.

Eva took another breath and moved closer to Jasper. She put a finger to his chin and gently forced him to look up into her eyes. “Jasper,” she said softy. “I want you to drink from me. Please.”

“But what if I kill you?” he whispered, his icy eyes pleading. “It doesn’t matter if I kill… the others I kept in cages, but… you’re important. I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you.”

“You won’t hurt me. It’ll be alright.”

“But-”

“ _I_ can’t live with _myself_ knowing that there’s a better way for you to live, and that I can help you, but you’re not taking it. _Please_ , Jasper.”

Jasper closed his eyes and Eva cupped his cheek in her palm. He leaned into it, part of him so very sad and desperate for comfort, for a kind touch. “Alright,” he whispered, “but…” he opened his eyes and pulled back a little. He fished out the combat knife he had gotten from Victor’s body guard. “If I start to take too much, you’ll have to stop me.” He handed the knife to Eva.

Eva didn’t want to take it, but she nodded and did. She wanted to trust that he would stop before killing her, and she did trust him, but it was obvious that he did not trust himself. Eva held the knife in her left hand, her right still close to his face. She arched her hand, presenting the wrist to him. Jasper steadied her hand and arm in his hands, his long fingers closing around her. He opened his mouth and sunk his long, deadly canines into Eva’s skin.

Eva flinched as the pain hit her, but the discomfort was temporary and soon faded. She forced her Vitae to flow into him and she could feel him drinking. It felt good. She wanted to close her eyes and enjoy the sensation, but she had to be vigilant. Jasper’s eyelids fluttered closed, lost in the bliss of feeding, of the potent, floral bouquet of her Vitae.

_He could do this forever. Or at least, time after time, again and again into the future… and that would be alright…_

_My crimson petal…_

Jasper stiffened slightly and pulled back out of the bite. He ran his long tongue over the wound and Eva felt something kind of _flip_ in the pit of her stomach. Her Beast had woken up again, wondering if he was about to return the favour. _After all, his lovely, long neck did look so delectable…_

Eva leaned in and kissed Jasper’s forehead. He wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her gently.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

“It’s… quite alright… Do you feel better?”

He nodded mutely.

“Good. I do too.”

"I’m sorry,” he whispered, a faint crack in his voice.

“I know,” she said softly, “and… it’s alright. Just please… don’t do it again. Don’t keep people in cages. This is… a better way.”

Jasper nodded. She could feel the tension in his back muscles and rubbed him gently over his jacket.

Eva pulled back from after a long, quiet moment of just letting herself be held by him. She had to hush her Beast. “Alright,” she murmured. “Let me feed again… and then we can rest… and figure out what we’re going to do tomorrow.”

Jasper let her go, sniffling and pressing his thumb to the corner of his eye. Eva reached for a blood pack and opened it.

_They were going to be alright._


End file.
